Top 5 Series: Uneven Bars

But first, in news that I would like to sub-headline with "can I get a hell yeah!?", I have discovered through a source that LJ user rawles has written some fine entries on the 'basics' of women's gymnastics for the amateur watcher. Everything from score calculation to need-to-know vocab is there, with helpful pictures. I recommend it for my friends and family who never know what the hell it is that I'm going on about. Smiles and polite nods all 'round. Enjoy!

So begins Episode 2 of this miniature epic quest, fellow hobbits. Today we look at my favourite routines from the 'second' event in the gymnastics rotation, with Uneven Bars performances from Team Australia. This list was harder to shorten than the vault one (wait 'til I get to Floor, yeesh! I think that'll have to be a Top 10-er) but I've done my best to choose routines that actively reflect good form and composition (although I'm no expert).

5. Hollie Dykes, 2007 World Championships preliminaries

View it here

A lot of people held their [collective] breaths as Hollie began her routine. 2006 had shown Hollie to be a somewhat inconsistent performer on bars, and this resulted in changes of composition to try and iron them out over the new year. This was one of few error-free routines for Team Oz in Stuttgart and thankfully counted towards the team's score to get them to Beijing. It's a shame she has stepped down from the squad and will miss the Olympics [most likely], she had such lovely, fluid technique on this event. Gorgeous toepoint.


4. Allana Slater, 2000 Olympic Test Event.

View it here

She debuted a double-double dismount, noice! As Liz says, she was the first girl in Australia to do it. We haven't seen (m)any in the team since then. Shame about the vomitrocious pink leos. She always had great leg form and toepoint. You don't see too many hop-full to Geingers these days...


3. Brooke Walker, 2000 Olympics

View it here

A morale-booster for Australia after a disasterous vault rotation. Australia made up some ground on bars with good routines from the likes of Slater, Skinner and of course Miss Walker. Brooke was known for powerful swings, particularly with inverted giants, and that exciting Deltchev. A steady performance worthy of a smile.

2. Daria Joura, 2007 Olympic Test Event

View it here

After flubbing it at Worlds, Dasha came back with a bang in the Beijing preview. She rocked her Comaneci release and stuck her dismount (with a deserved smile!). I particularly like her delighted jumps as she leaves the podium. Listen out for team-mate Lauren Mitchell's calls of encouragement. Let's hope for a similar performance in August.


1. Allana Slater, 1999 Nationals.

View it here

Yes, here she is again but you can't go past a 'perfect' 10.0! Granted, it wouldn't have scored quite as such on the international stage but a great achievement for her regardless, particularly in the lead-up to the Sydney Olympics. The stuck dismount clinched the score.

Still to come- Balance Beam!

This Blog is Girt By Sea

Happy Australia Day, to Aussies and Ausophiles here and overseas. Have a beer, sniff some wattle, hug a wombat. Do whatever takes your fancy and celebrate our right to live, work and vote without fear of persecution and to represent our country in all manner of endeavours on the international stage.

I'd throw in a "So Where the Bloody Hell Are You?" reference but...y'know... impressionable children might read this :p

MAG team member Luke Wiwatowski and gym team mascot "Bruce"

I'm not too festive today because I had to work (damn), and am going to bed early because I'm at work again at 5:00 tomorrow morning. So in lieu of a fancypants entry, here's a little parochial something to warm the heart of your eucalyptus-soaked cockles on this ocker-casion (har di har har). One of my personal favourite poems, Green and Gold Malaria by the fantastic lyricist Rupert McCall...

The day would soon arrive when I could not ignore the rash

I was obviously ill and so I called on Doctor Nash

This standard consultation would adjudicate my fate
I walked into his surgery and gave it to him straight
“Doc, I wonder if you might explain this allergy of mine
I get these pins and needles running up and down my spine
From there, across my body, it will suddenly extend
My neck will feel a shiver and the hairs will stand on end
And then there is that symptom that a man can only fear
It’s a choking in the throat and the crying of a tear”
Well, the doctor scratched his melon with a rather worried look
His furrowed brow suggested that the news to come was crook
“What is it Doc?” I motioned “Have I got a rare disease?
I’m man enough to cop it sweet so give it to me please”
“Well I’m not too sure” he answered, in a puzzled kind of way
“It seems you’ve got some kind of fever but it’s hard for me to say
When is it that you feel this most peculiar condition?”
I thought for just a moment and then I gave him my position
“Doc, I get it when I’m standing in an Anzac Day parade
And I get it when the anthem of my native land is played
I get it when Meninga makes a Kiwi-crunching run
And when AB grits his teeth to score a really gutsy ton
And I got it back in ‘91 when Farr-Jones held the Cup
And I got it when Japan was stormed by Better loosen Up
I get it when the Banjo takes me down the Snowy River
And Matilda sends me waltzing with a billy-boiling shiver
It hit me hard when Sydney was awarded with the Games
And I get it when I see our farmers fighting for their names
It flattened me when Bertrand raised the Boxing Kangaroo
And when Perkins won from lane eight, well, the rashes were true blue
So tell me Doc” I questioned “Am I really gonna die?”
He broke into a smile before he looked me in the eye
As he fumbled with his stethoscope and pushed it out of reach
He wiped away a tear and then he gave this stirring speech:
“From the beaches here in Queensland to the sweeping shores of Broome
On the Harbour banks of Sydney where the Waratah’s in bloom
From Uluru at sunset to the mighty Tasman Sea
In the Adelaide cathedrals, at the roaring MCG
From the Great Australian Bight up to the Gulf of Carpentaria
The medical profession call it ‘Green and Gold Malaria’
But forget about the textbooks son, the truth I shouldn’t hide
The rash that you’ve contracted here is ‘good old Aussie pride’
I’m afraid that you were born with it and one thing is for sure
You’ll die with it young man because there isn’t any cure.”

Top 5 Series: Vault

Here begins a small collection of some of my personal favourite Aussie performances. Mind you, I started watching gymnastics 'offishullee!' around 1997 when I was only about 11, therefore forgive the lack of anything particularly archival or ground-breaking. I'm also at the whim of what YouTube has available.

We begin with the traditional 'first' apparatus in the competition order: Vault.

*oof!*

Not my favourite apparatus (not a lot of peoples', actually) but the likes of Cheng Fei and Alicia Sacramone are changing all that. It's becoming quite an exciting contest now. On the local side of things, I always loved Trudy's landmark 'McIntosh' vault, and can't wait to see a few more Yurchenko doubles feature in the elite squad this season.


5. Melissa Munro, 2004 Pacific Alliance Championships

View it here.

Not the most difficult vault (thanks Bart and Tim for letting us know that a piked Lucconi's worth 9.4 but no thanks for raining on any attempts by Mel to upgrade), but she performs - and lands - it very very nicely. She competed the same vault at the 2004 Olympics and managed a similar dainty landing.

4. Lisa Skinner, 1999 World Championship trials

View it here.

Aaaah, back in the days when Foxtel would broadcast national competitions and duels. And you could tape them while watching, instead of having to set the recorder for 3am. Like Brennan, what she lacked in power Lisa made up for in execution, notably with this Yurchenko 1.5!

3. Ashleigh Brennan, 2006 Commonwealth Games team trial.

View it here.

Not a powerful vaulter alongside the likes of Russo or Joura, but a very neat one for sure. A Yurchenko 1.5 done very neatly made her a suitable addition to the team.



2. Trudy McIntosh, 1999 International Team Championships.

View it here.

Just a twist away from her signature vault, the McIntosh, Trudy's laid-out handspring front vaults were powerful (though often difficult to maintain good form in) and laid the foundations for a vault that would propel her (literally) into medal contention on the world stage.


1. Daria Joura, 2007 World Championships preliminaries.

View it here.

Perfect antidote to a shaky competition. A Yurchenko double with great height and no big shuffles. A fantastic vault for Dasha and an asset to the team's total. Dammit, if we're not wearing green-and-gold in Beijing I will eat my hat!


Coming very soon in this series: Uneven Bars!

"I can dream, Jim!"

Applause if you got the Tripod reference there.

So Dwight Normile from IG, rather than actively pursuing change in the sport through journalism and campaigning for a usurper of EVILBRUNOGRANDI's fascist FIG dictatorship, he's written yet another column writing off the skills of gymnasts without thinking outside the box and seeking out the sources of the problem (cf. The FIG Code). Also, he seems to neglect that US gymnasts, as much as I admire the way they go for big skills, often commit these crimes too.

So let's have a look-see at some of this week's list, Skills and Combinations I'd Rather Not See Anymore.

Tumbling: Any twisting somersault that finishes in a forward landing, unless it is followed by a skill which completes the pass aesthetically. In other words, no more roundoff, flip-flop, 2.5 twist dismounts, since they are virtually impossible to stick.

True, but I suppose that's the appeal of them. Mind you, "any twisting somersault that finishes in a forward landing" is equally difficult on any apparatus so you're sweeping a bit wide there. Byebye to Cheng Fei's Olympic vault title, I suppose, with that logic. But if a gymnast is watering down and sticking double twists, only to consistently get beaten by one doing a 2.5 twist (albeit with a shuffled landing) shouldn't they at least have a go at a 2.5? And if you think about it, most of Liukin's (bless her pink bejewelled cotton socks and gloves) 2005 floor routine that scored the silver at Worlds was twisting somersaults, two(?) of which I believe had a front landing, though if you want to talk cheated or unstuck twisting somersaults, I'm sure there would be many out there in interweb land shouting two little words: Catalina Ponor!

Uneven Bars: Any skill in which the feet are touching the bar but the hands are not. So no more sole circles on the low bar where the gymnast merely stands up and reaches for the high bar.

That could be deemed hard to judge, ie where a jump to the high bar ends and a standing reach with small hop off begins. I guess in the same way that in the Walking event in athletics makes for challenge in judging where both feet may have left the ground.

Balance Beam: Rulfova. It's difficult, sure, but it's just not very pretty.

Depends on who does it. Many of us felt that Hollie Dykes could've done a nice one as she already did a Korbut flip and the Rulfova is just a step up. The lighter and daintier a gymnast (Cheng Fei did a good one at the Olympic Test Event), the nicer it actually is. I just think it's funny that when a lot of people see one done, they gasp because they think it's accidental, like the gymnast unintentionally straddled their legs in the flip and landed on their biscuits. I can just imagine them thinking "geez, that must have hurt but she sure hid it well!"

Any skill that lands on the beam with a thud. What comes to mind immediately is Daria Joura's Shushunova.

...and anything attempted by Natasha Kelly, wouldn't you think? Sorry, you know how I feel when somebody knocks Sassy Miss D :p Thuds can't be helped. Looked at all the awesome acro in Elyse Hopfner-Hibbs' routine. Unique and difficult stuff that is naturally going to result in a heavy landing. I haven't heard anybody complain just yet. The more spring and amplitude required for the move, the more of a "thud" it is going to make. And more difficult skills are being asked for in this new code so look at what's really causing the thuds. You've seen that sideways Shushunova what, one or two times? It usually doesn't make that much noise when she lands it; I'd say it's an improvement on the ones the Aussie girls used to do on beam that saw them follow it through with a hip circle around the beam. THAT was a thudder. Nearly knocked the beam over. The biggest thumps and thuds I've heard in the gymnastics world come from the floor mats the USA uses. Watching footage from the Pacific Alliance Championships and American Cup, I am immediately deterred by the heavy thudding of the floor mat. It's like they've got big rusted metal springs under there or sheets of metal... or the microphones are way too close to the mat. It really takes away from routines.

Side somi. This skill is just plain ugly on beam. It's better suited for the circus, where an acrobat does about 10 of them in a row as he circles the ring.

Once again, it depends on who does it. I don't *lurve* side somi's but I don't hate them. Yes, you included with your list a rather unsightly picture of Kristina Vaculik to illustrate your point, but there are some nice ones out there. Lithe gymnasts (Nastia Liukin, Ash Brennan come to mind) are capable of somewhat straight-legged and nearly-landed side somi's, they're not totally impossible. Side elements are also required under this new scoring code, so if you're so desperate to get rid of them you're once again going to have to take it to The Man (see first line of last paragraph). And Bruno ain't gonna like that much. A circus? Please. That really is unkind. The only thing circus-y about gymnastics is the three-ringed one that rolls around when the judging panels get together.

Mounts that really aren't mounts.

o_O

!? I don't know about you, but I am yet to see a mount sequence where a gymnast gets UNDER the beam, backwards, and begins with their dismount...you're not making sense here, Dwight. If you're talking about piddly little tuck jump mounts onto the beam, then I totally hear you, but unless the FIG technical committee minions make an official rule about it, there's not much you can do. There are some interesting mounts out there.

Like this one.

Or this one.

This one is very cool.

Are they mounts? Or not mounts? Help me out here.

Instead of having a whine about what skills aren't done nicely, go directly to the source and do something about the rules, particularly ones that could result in the exclusion of some very nice gymnastics. FIG 'President' Bruno Grandi wants to change the age limit for competing at Olympics and World Championships from 15 to 16. So taking that rule for what it is had it been in place earlier, America's pocket dynamo Shawn Johnson (and elegant 14-year-old teammate Ivana Hong) would have missed '07 World Championships selection and subsequent medal wins. Funnily enough it could have also eradicated the achievements of Grandi's fellow Italian 'stallion' Vanessa Ferrari in 2006, whom he practically accosted when he discovered she'd won the all-around.

The contradictions just... make me...dizzy...

I Can Has Photographik Comparryson?

Ok, let's get it out there: This blog mistress *lurves* cute baby animals. When I have absolutely nothing to do (once work, study, karaoke and blogging are done with) I like to look at the picky-tures found here or here.

So I thought to myself, after a weekend of the usual karaoke and fine dining (neither of which I excel at), that Aussie gymnastics is surely a movement that adheres to (nay, embodies) CO.com's Rules of Cuteness, some of which are as follows:

#35. If you try and eat your own appendage, it's cute.

#8. Piles of a cute thing jack up a cuteness rating exponentially.

#15. A small ear to head ratio is cute.

'ello Mr Frodo, are we goin' te Mordor? etc etc etc...

#29. If you flex your paws repeatedly in a kneading motion in the air for no reason, it's cute.


#37. If you tilt your head to a side, it's cute.



#2. If you look helpless, it's cute.




(Late entries for the international edition of this post included Nastia Liukin and her adorable candidacy for the above rule #2:



and the Mackie sisters who utterly embody rule #7 - a thing, accompanied by a smaller version of that thing, is always cute)

Shiny Happy People Holding Hands

Many thanks to other bloggers who've been giving AGB a bit of a shout-out (or should I say "props"... to a lesser extent "snaps"?). I didn't think too many were reading this (particularly anyone overseas) so it means a lot that you think my words were worth mentioning to the general public.


I just wanted to clarify a few things this morning. Things that have arisen from my own re-hashing of blog entries here.

Ostensibly I'd like to explain that I'm not a typically antagonistic person, I don't set out to make enemies or frustrate people. I wouldn't like to make a habit of it. I was rather a geek through most of my primary and secondary schooling but my alleged wordy intellect belies a kinaesthetic clumsiness (what we in the trendy young-adult realm dub 'being totally unco') and a perpetual desire to stop the words coming out of my mouth as I'm saying them. In other words, this dork is a bit of a dunce sometimes.


Just to let you all know that for all my criticism, I do respect that at the very least, GA is keeping the sport running in this country and continuously allowing fans the chance to see their favourites comepete at all. Heck, they got a World Championships here. And while I don't love all the things that national coach Peggy Liddick does or says, I admire any woman that can take over a national sporting program, keep it running every year and get its athletes competing internationally. Not that anyone's holding a gun to my head or anything as I write this, I just thought I'd get it out there.

So I complain and critique quite a bit, but I don't hate. I'd hate to be hated back... I mean, surely this cute little accent of mine is enough to get me out of trouble, officer? *bats eyelashes under akubra hat*

"Whadjoo call me!?"

If anyone would like to see that elusive footage of Dasha's double layout in training, YouTube user and all-around gymnastics multimedia wonder Nade uploaded an excerpt, doing the trick I tried (but couldn't follow through with uploading because my internet is beyond lame), filming it off the telly with a digital camera like The Little Engine That Could. You might have to crank up the sound a bit. Excuse the scrolling newsbar/s as well, Fox Sports seems to think we all have eight eyes and just as many brains to process it all. Enjoy!

Hustle Up! : An Examination of Group Dynamics

...sounds like a great title for my Honours thesis. Were it not for the fact that I'm, y'know, doing it in Linguistics.

By all accounts, Team USA could lead themselves around on the floor. They brim with such competitive confidence you wouldn't think they needed coaches shepherding them. They have an apt and admirable captain in senior Alicia Sacramone (who I believe actually acted as captain in Stuttgart last year). She gave her teammates a 'pep talk' to boost morale during the rotations and helped lead them to a team gold. She's a fantastic young lady with sass to boot. The team gelled magnificently. Team USA's huddles during competition (often done without the coaches) are always tight bundles of encouragement and solidarity. NCAA meets go one better, with big hands-in huddles, fist pumps and chants. Go team go!

Team 'Straya doesn't seem to do a lot of team huddles. There was a group hug with some laughs at the Commonwealth Games, when team gold was safely in Australia's hands once floor was over. And sure, there was a huddle-ish gathering after beam rotation in the Athens preliminary round. Mind you, it took a few minutes to manifest itself. Would've been better if the team could have done it off to the side and on their own.

Don't get me wrong, the team members are quick to encourage one another and call out advice on routines. It is most noticeable in smaller comps, like duels or trials. I had a little giggle in 2005 at the Australia v China meet when Dasha J was on beam, and this little ocker voice pipes out of Monette Russo: "ROWN-doff!" And if you watch Dasha's uneven bars routine in the final at the Beijing Test Event, all you hear is encouragement (and reminders) from fellow WA competitor Lauren Mitchell. Smashing stuff. Another WA alum, Allana Slater, was always quick to say "good job!" with a big grin to the girls during the team final in Manchester '02. I like hearing the girls shout "caaaatch!" when someone's doing a flight element on bars, it's like you're at the cricket. I don't quite know why but I actually prefer it to USA's ubiquitous cries of, "C'mon, you got it! Nice!"

After comps is good. During the comp would be even better.

But otherwise, there seems so little pep and vigour (whoops, nearly put 'salt and vinegar' there!) evident in the team when they're competing; particularly after a rotation. It's just a quiet walk back with a subdued smile and not a great deal of congratulations. Maybe it's because they don't walk into the arena with the knowledge that, even with a bad performance, they're still likely to make the top 3 (see previous post for 'defeatist cloud' notion)? Maybe it's because they fear the wrath they'll receive once they've erred? Who knows what it is. We may not need a team captain, but we sure as hell need some positivity out on the floor.

In other news, last night marked about the fifth time I've served Zeena McLaughlin at work. The fifth time I've held my tongue, slightly awed, not wanting to say anything as I scan her grocery items. What do you say to a retired hero of yours? Is it appropriate to ask if they're still involved with the sport at which they once excelled? I tend to make an arse of myself at the best of times around regular people so I just don't say anything. I don't think I will next time, either.

Stuff gonna 'splode

Inspired by special agent Infrafrenata.

I don't mean to rock the boat, girls, but...

After yesterday's wibbly-wobbly rant (that I started sometime after lunch, left, re-thought and then finished at nearly 10pm last night), I came to the conclusion that: Enough's enough. I'd really like to write an open letter to Gymnastics Australia. I, and others whose comments I've read in online communiqué, would very much like to ask GA in no uncertain terms to treat the fans and athletes with more dignity, and establish useful incentives [or at least, some damn good reasons] for following the sport by considering any or all of the following strategies:

* Updating their online news page. It's two weeks into the new year, people. Get it together. Your office has been in operation since last week.

* Providing more in the Media Releases than just news we've already heard a week prior about competition results. See next point.


* Allowing the gymnasts to speak for themselves. Don't get me wrong, Jane Allen makes for a credible and good-natured interview subject from what I've read, but she and national coach Liddick are the only ones we ever hear from. It's dull. Let us hear it from the horse's mouth. I'd rather know what the athlete him/herself thinks about their performance.


* Doing something to liven up competitions (and I don't mean just bringing out a cheerleading team. I think more people snickered at them than clapped along at Nationals). I was quite shocked at being ushered away the minute the Australia v China competition ended last year. Nobody got to hang around to catch a glimpse of the athletes. The only people encouraged to cheer there during the event were the little pockets of gym club members who'd come from interstate training centres. See, people like NCAA gymnastics competitions because they embrace the fan. They encourage enthusiasm. Their gymnasts are out for autograph sessions and meet-and-greets and photoshoots after the meet. It's a real team atmosphere and breaks down the barrier between fan and hero. Even during the actual senior national championships (the shamelessly-titled VISA Championships which are televised). Fans sport posters and t-shirts and have a grand old time of it. It's quite touching for the athletes, too, because they know there are people out there who are gunning for them. My non-gymfan friend Michelle came with me to Nationals last year. She thought that the people who yelled and cheered were distracting and frustrating. No no, I corrected her. If anything we need MORE of those people around. It only sounded odd to her because it doesn't get heard often (if at all). Meets in the US always seem so much louder because the crowds there are encouraged to encourage the athletes! I really loved the vibrant Chinese fans at the AvC meet, with "jiaoyou!" echoing in the corners of Vodafone Arena. There were less of them than Aussie fans but with the noise they were making you'd have thought it was the other way around.

* Treating international guests with more respect. Nationals last year saw the visiting Chinese team wandering around during the competition, unguided, not knowing where to march to when the rotations ended or where to stand when stepping off the medal podium. And please, no patronising photo shoots with furry marsupials.


* Treating the national athletes with more respect. Celebrating them and, I suppose, showing how proud you are to be associated with them (rather than just highlighting how answerable to you they are). On the WAG squad page at the GA website, Tain Molendijk's profile page is blank, Kerby Purcell's picture is missing and the ones that are already on there (save for the WAIS girls) look terrible. Several of them are passport photos and it shows. It would look better if the girls all had AIS trackies on and got a photo day together. They deserve to look their best when they're on show to the public. They deserve, to be honest, to LOOK LIKE A TEAM.

"ZOMG WE'RE BFF!" Come on GA, more of this please.

* As Infy puts it: Not treating us like mushrooms(!) as we pay good money to see the athletes perform at Nationals/duel meets (and the like), and if someone is absent or under-performing, we have a right to know why. It's unfair that our star athletes are kept at such a distance from us (AIS location notwithstanding) because it leaves us in the dark and lets all manner of unsubstantiated, mixed-message rumours fly around which are no doubt detrimental to the athletes when they eventually catch word of them.

* Hopefully not considering glitter velour tracksuits. Ever. That would spell the death of Australian gymnastics for me personally. Heck, this ain't USAG.

* Just because they haven't won major Olympic medals (yet), doesn't mean we can't make the team feel like they have already... or deserve to.


In the apt words of comedian (and delightfully gangly stud-muffin) Frank Woodley: Get a bit of brainage!